I’m gonna take that inner child and kick his little ass
– Don Henley, ‘Get Over It’
I’m big on personal responsibility, and I have to admit that I am the weight I am now simply because a part of me doesn’t want to weigh less.
At the beginning of the year I had managed to put on 20 lbs, and with a little effort I got that taken off in a couple of weeks. I’ve wanted to do another 20, but that hasn’t happened.
In asking myself why, it is apparent that a force other than the conscious me has decided it’s pretty satisified with where I am right now, and that peach pie the wife brought in would hit the spot – washed down with an ice-cold glass of milk.
I’ve been maintaining my weight, which is a good thing, while eating all the high-carb food that low carbers avoid, which sounds like nirvana – except that I think this is dangerous.
My reasoning is that in my estimation, excessive carbohydrates block the proper digestion of fat, causing a host of ills – high cholesterol being only one of them.
So what we have here is what I’d call: Atkins gone bad.
I eat low carb most of the day, then carb out on junk in the evening. Put on a few pounds, then take it back off with a few days of all-day low carb.
I still fit in my clothes – they are snug, but not so much that they cut off breathing. I think the subconscious me thinks that’s just fine – no need to take off any weight, right?
Problem is: I want to take this last 20 lbs off, and keep it off eating healthy becuase I believe that this will indeed add years to my life, life to my years, and stave off decrepitude for as long as possible.
That’s what my logical mind says – then the inner child sees the peach pie…
Oh – I have a stable of excuses – they flood my mind as I chow down on the pie, but they are just that: excuses.
I think willpower is overrated – the trick isn’t to force things to happen, but rather to find ways to change in the most effortless means possible. That isn’t lazy, and it shouldn’t be reduced to a moralistic judgement – we only have so much energy and so much time, and why swim upstream when you can get out of the river and walk upstream with a lot less effort?
And yet…I’m still 20 lbs away from my goal. Willpower is required, but it’s to be leveraged with a bag of tricks that I’ve learned during my years on low carb. Especially the tricks that allow me to keep that damn peach pie out of my gullet while those around me have a carb orgy.
Maybe I’ve forgotten some of them. Maybe it’s time to read my own blog to remember what I’ve forgotten.