It was not a good day from a psychological perspective. As I said, this is no time to go on a diet for me – it’s nice to start a diet when your life is humming along, things are pretty routine, and your mental energy is high – this isn’t me. I’m not asking for sympathy, nor feeling sorry for myself (OK, maybe I am feeling sorry for my self somewhat), but trying to work through the challenge of doing something when you damn well don’t feel like it.
I was walking through a store yesterday and saw a shirt – ‘Pain is the feeling of weakness leaving the body’ – or something to that effect. Yeah – that’s sort of how I’m trying to reframe all this.
How do you empower yourself when you just don’t feel all that powerful? That’s what I’m trying to figure out.
I’m reminded of a concept from NLP – neurolinguistic programming, which I’d describe as a pseudo-scientific psycho-babble that does have a few elements worth exploring. The concept is: “Act as if”.
Simply put: if you are unhappy – put a smile on your face and pretend you are. The act of pretending you are happy can actually trick your body into feeling happy.
Sounds loopy, but there is something to this.
So I go to work, people ask me how it’s going, and I tell them ‘great’ – well, actually, it all sucks, but I spare them the tedium of listening to my dumbass problems – and after a while I tend to lose focus on it, get into the tasks at work, and the day ain’t so bad.
I wish I could report that my weight loss is cheering me up, but it isn’t – jeez – a few weeks ago I was at the weight I am now – I’ve been doing all this work to get to a point I was at for most of this year – not much of a victory.
So…blah blah blah, LCC – what did you eat and what do you weigh?
In the morning I had an Atkins bar – I never found them to be helpful before, but this time, by leaving them in the car, the rationing of them is easier – I had one as my breakfast, and I was good til noon.
At noon I had leftover pork – ate about 1 chop. A few minutes later, my boss came in and invited me to the chinese resturant for a goodbye lunch for a coworker moving to a new job. I declined, but he said: “You GOTTA Go”. I did have a good rapport with this person, and would have felt bad if I hadn’t gone, so I went and had a second lunch of spare ribs.
With 2 lunches, I was not hungry til 9pm, when I came home finally. We had some yummy tomatoes that needed to be eaten, so I took a fat slice of tomato (like 3/4″ thick), put mayo on it, then bacon bits, then 2 slices of american cheese. I ate 2 of these. If I had lettuce, I could have wrapped these suckers in that, but since I didn’t, it was a messy meal, but good – just not something to be eaten in polite company.
I also cooked up some fried spagetti for the kids, which they didn’t eat. Great. I did manage to put it in the fridge with only 2 bites of meatball in my gullet.
Finished it off with 2 squares of Lindt Dark Chocolate – a low carb fave of mine.
So this morning’s weight? 203.6 – down 10.8 lbs. from the start.