Eats, December 21


Got up at about 6 and wanted to go do my 20-minute mile on the treadmill, but the weather was so bad – freezing rain coming down on top of a sheet of ice, that it was challenging for me just to get to the damn car. 

In my mind, the excuse machine was on overtime, helpfully providing a myriad of reasons to stay home, but I ignored them, and got to the gym.

Now today, unlike yesterday where I drank coffee right before going, my BPM never went over 103.

So it does indeed seem that I have already shaved 10 BPM off my heart rate doing the same level of exertion – in about a week.

I didn’t know the ol’ bod had it in him. Maybe it’s been dying for a little TLC – and is responding like a lovesick puppy to the least amount of attention.

Breakfast was a mini burger wrapped in a slice of Swiss cheese with a slice of onion at 10am. I had three more of these around 1pm, as well as a slice of Greek toast (toast drizzled with olive oil, oregano, and salt).

Was good the entire afternoon. It is the evening when I go bad.

It started off fine, I had some of the sour pork and vegetable soup – I must learn how to cook this stuff! My daughter then asked for something to eat. She takes a ‘Greek Diner’ approach to eating – she expects that at any hour she can place an order, and if she doesn’t like what’s for dinner, she just won’t eat. 

I am an indulgent father, however, as she’s a great kid.

So I cooked up a classic kid favorite – mac & cheese. If we were to ever create a symbol for the worst possible high-carb food, mac & cheese might be it.

Take a nickel’s worth of low-grade pasta, cover with a neon-orange, salt and MSG-laden powdered processed cheese product, add some butter and milk and volia! – instant low carb disaster.

It is so wrong, yet there’s something inviting about the stuff. It’s got that ‘comfort food’ aura about it.

I made it fully aware there might be some risk to having it in the house, but I threw caution to the wind – a fatal error diet-wise.

Down the gullet it went, followed by sugar cookies. It was an enjoyable few minutes, followed by that just plain sick feeling I get when I eat carbs.

My scale went easy on me the other day, but it showed no mercy now: 211.4.

I’m thinking of wiring my jaw shut after 9pm – maybe that’ll work.

Seriously – I am having a problem getting into the groove, take full personal responsibility, and will give it another go.

I’ve often thought it’s similar to a ‘launch window’ when doing a rocket launch.

Every morning might look the same to the untrained eye, but on some mornings, the planets are in perfect alignment, and the rocket can take advantage of this launch window to get where it’s going with the least amount of effort.

Unlike the rocket scientists, I don’t know what morning is the best morning to launch – so I try to launch every morning.

Doing it this way ensures the vast majority of launches go down in flames.

But I just need that one launch – on the right morning, then I’ll be golden.

I just need to be patient, take responsibility, try to learn from my mistakes, forgive myself, and try one more time.

5 thoughts on “Eats, December 21

  1. Wow. You made it the treadmill in ice. You just struck down that excuse machine didn’t you. Great job. I on the other hand, let the excuse machine take over. I did not do any exercise this weekend.

    It is not as easy to maintain my weight loss when I let the excuse machine run rampant.

    Great job.

  2. Hey, you sound similar to me. I do a 20-minute jog, and I believe it’s only a mile or so. I also do great during the day regarding food, but it’s a free-for-all in the evenings. I keep saying that if I go to bed at 7pm, I’d be fine. If I don’t, look out, I’ll end up eating whatever I can fine to make up the calories that I was excited about not having eaten earlier. Oh well.

  3. I’m doomed until the holidays are over. My family bakes and bakes and bakes and this particular year, I cannot resist. It’s cold even in Texas and I’m eating for three people it seems. I found an eggnog by the name of Pennsylvania Dutch which is already loaded and omg, it’s the best. NOTHING low carb about anything I’ve put in my mouth since the middle of December. So, I’ve decided to chill out and accept the fact that i will gain a few and then work like the devil in January. That’s all I can do, cuz I’m tired of whining about it all. My new jeans are tight and I’m pissed, but I will enjoy the baked goods and get real again next month. Whew….sometimes I’m too tired for the fight.

    Denise in Texas

  4. Hi Run4change,

    Thanks for the comment. Checked out your site and congratulations on the result all your hard work got you – it inspired me to get my ass out of bed and to the gym *this* morning.

    I detect a real fear in your writing – a fear of backsliding. Let me tell you – it’s a real healthy fear for folks that are naturally overweight and manage to artificially lower their weight – like you and me.

    I gained weight because I stopped fearing – I forgot. Great powerful emotions like fear and anger can be great motivators for change, and if they are controlled carefully (their care in use is similar to a chainsaw) they can help people effect amazing change.

    Here’s a post I wrote on fear as a motivator:

    And as you seem to be as interested in the mindset aspects of all this as I am, you might be interested in this post:

    It’s poorly written, but there’s some good stuff here. Personally, I’m going to ‘eat my own dog food’ and follow some of my own advice in the article as a prep for the coming New Year.

    Best wishes for continued success – I’ll be watching.



  5. I try not to focus on my fear as the primary motivator, but hey, sometimes I need it. This type of fear is a healthy one I would say. It is like a respect for the fact that a person can go the other way and gain it back. I mean, most of us have already gained it, lost it, gained it, lost it.
    It would suite us well to remember that and learn from it. I will respect and frear that old life.

    Thanks for coming by. Come back if you want to.

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