Atkins Induction Day 10 – Ketosis Hits Like a Ton of Bricks

I said yesterday that I went into ketosis and didn’t feel it.

I spoke too soon.

That heaviness hit – and what I would describe as tiredness without sleepiness. This lasted most of the day, though it didn’t impact my performance at work – mind still clear, still solved a few tough problems. I always go to work and ask myself: “Did I deserve that check I get for the work I put in today?” I think I did.

I’m down to 208.0 as I write this. No dramatic weight loss. The water weight loss that strips off a few pounds overnight is over – now it’s just getting into the groove for the long haul.

There are some people I feel comfortable talking about this stuff with at work. Others, I don’t. One colleague knew of my somewhat odd dietary proclivities because, stuck in a long meeting together, I grabbed some lunch of roast beef and butter and ate it as a wrap. He was visibly shaken, as if he had suddenly realized that this guy he had worked with for months was a fucking lunatic.

With some people, I take an approach similar to that Grandpa that pulls out his dentures and chases the frightened children with them. With some people I let my low carb freak flag fly, and this fellow, after the initial revulsion, was somewhat intrigued, in the way one might be if they came across a strange new type of human being.

He asked me: “Does your family know that you eat like this?” The very structure of the sentence conveying the underlying fact that he must think me a harmless crazy person and someone like me, like the Elephant Man, should keep these proclivities hidden from the light of day.

“I’ve been eating like this for nearly a decade.” I said. “They know.”

“Do they ever say anything?”

“Well, my daughter DOES occasionally make a comment like ‘Daddy, that’s a lot of butter.’ when I put almost half a stick on a single piece of low carb bread.”

He said nothing, though his lips drew tight together. He is a decent fellow, and has been brought to be polite and not tell people they are fucking nuts to their face.

I HAVE been eating some decidedly odd things this time around.

If you haven’t noticed, I like experimenting. Lately I have been experimenting with what to eat and have come up with a few good things, some (ahem) interesting things, and a few no-gos.

If anything might dissuade you from reading more on this blog – this might be it.

Yogurt and green tabasco sauce – I had a yogurt and I had the green, milder tabasco sauce. What the hell. Mixed together, it was actually pretty good. I think adding salsa to the mix will be my next trick.

Tablespoon of butter and a packet of splenda – a little bit of sugar – or splenda – makes this pretty tasty. It worked on unsalted butter better than the salted kind, but I liked it on both.

Bacon and Lindt 90% Dark Chocolate – Um, no. This didn’t work at all. I warned you.

‘Milk’ – I had a hankering for milk so I turned to a 2 tablespoons of heavy cream in a 4 ounce cup with a drop or 2 or liquid splenda and a drop of vanilla. This was great – I’ll be doing this again.

Hamburger wrapped in ham – Hamburgers are no fun eating with a knife and fork. I’ve taken to eating them wrapped in ham. You can hold the sandwich in a paper towel.

Ham and cheese and onion – A variation on the above, the ham acts as the container for the cheese, onion and sugar free ketchup.

In the past few days I’ve also had to coexist with pizza and McDonald’s. Again, I don’t like to demonize ANY food, and I love pizza and McDonald’s. I don’t necessarily feel all that great after eating the stuff, but I’m not going to try to pretend to myself I don’t like it when I know I do – I’m just going to try and avoid it at present.

I managed to avoid the McDonald’s except for a single french fry – which was good, and did not set me off. I also navigated the pizza so far, except to have the cheese topping my 6-year-old pulls off. Neither one was a cause for concern, though there is still pizza leftover in the fridge so the navigation around it continues.

My wife saw me eating the cheese. I am in and out of my diet so much, announcing that I am on a diet to her would be like announcing “I am breathing.” It is nothing worthy of announcement. She asked: “You’ve been trying to good lately, right? You couldn’t help yourself?”

“I’m just having the cheese – not the crust.” I said. “It’s harmless.

Her question probably sprung from her natural competitiveness.

She has always been long and lean, but as of late put on ‘a few pounds’. Nothing to be alarmed about in my estimation: she’s still beautiful to me. It’s bothering her, and she’s begun running to ‘lose weight’.

I told her: “Exercise is great – but you won’t lose weight doing it. You’ll feel better, but if you are doing it to lose pounds you have to change your diet.”

She ignores me, though. She’s lived with me long enough to have come to the same conclusion my colleague has: I’m fucking nuts.