Just Start your Diet, Will Ya?!? – Day 4

Some random stuff

To some extent this is a hijacking. The blog I maintained since 2007 until the end of 2014 – then essentially left fallow for 2015 – was written by what seems like another fellow. In a lot of ways, I ain’t him. First of, that guy was way thinner than I am. Another was that guy got up at 4am and sometimes wrote and edited for 2 hours – then wouldn’t post because something just wasn’t right. I have hundreds of unposted posts. He was also younger. I feel much older than him.

At day 4, I see this go-round as something else. While I am hoping to post more frequently – perhaps as a means of accountability as one commenter said – I am probably going to be more brief in my posts as I don’t have the time I once did. I am also not going to spend much time editing. This is going to suck for you if you happen to be a grammar Nazi, but I simply don’t have the time. Even edited my stuff is full of grammatical errors and they are going to increase. This is going to be more stream-of-consciousness and that might mean I repeat myself in the same post, I repeat myself across posts, I will no doubt contradict myself, I confuse it’s and its all the time. There will be flagrant acts of misspelling, Random Acts of Capitalization, and a whole host of other egregious errors, awkward constructions, and malaprops to torture the language to such an extent that it would confess to anything to please make me stop.

I don’t do this for a living – or even side income. The advertising you might see is not chosen by me, and the income might buy my family a nice dinner once a year. I also don’t get a kickback from the links I might post to products.

And I don’t care if anyone reads this or not. I write mostly for the same reason dogs chew bones – I like it.

My hope is that, buried within the dashed off drivel will come forth a more clear set of goals, larger than just a number on the scale, as well as a means to get there that is not some grim march but a path that I would come I find I like to be on, one that makes me feel better – and maybe even be a better person.

Let’s face it: this is an endless struggle. Even if I were to lose all the weight i wanted to, the chances of maintaining that loss are 95 to 1. You think losing is hard? Maintaining is even worse. I maintained 2/3rds of my original 80 lb. weight loss (+/- 30 lbs.) for a decade, so it can be done. I did a lousy job of it, however, and then I gave up, lost the mojo, and got fat again.

I find putting thoughts into words clarify thoughts. If it helps anyone else, I will be glad. If it satisfies some voyeristic tendencies – hey – whatever you’re into. If it makes you feel superior – glad to be of help.

There is little in the way of a plan at this point other than: try to stick to diet, eat and post, eat and post.

So pardon the mess that is and that is to come – hopefully. I can’t even promise another post. I might just go *poof* again and become just another dead blog.

Got to take this day by day.

Day 4 – Tuesday, December 29, 2015 – Wt: 270.6 Blood Glucose 103 – 75.6 pounds to go

I gained a little. It’s OK. One thing I want to do in this go-round is focus on the ketogenic diet and less on the weight. Yes – the weight loss is important – but I don’t want to the number on the scale to derail me from being in ketosis as many days as possible this year and see what it gets me.

Up around 7:30 I had my coffee and cream. It wasn’t until 11am that I tested for ketones. Yep. I’m spilling them. That’s what I’ve heard it called when you are using the using test strips, which are pretty unreliable beyond the simple: ‘ketosis? Yes or no’. They are actually an awful indicator of just how deeply you are in ketosis. You could be deeply in ketosis, drink a lot of water, and the strips will hardly turn color at all; conversely, you could be in mild ketosis, be dehydrated, and the strips turn dark.

For real accuracy you need a blood test kit. The problem here is the strips are ridiculously expensive. I think I paid $2 per strip. I know it takes weeks to see your blood ketone level rise to an optimal level – and I need to do some research to determine what I think my ‘optimal level’ is. People go on ketogenic diets for epilepsy, cancer, and a few other ailments. I simply do not know what the ideal number is for weight loss – or if anybody knows.

I can tell you this: in one very intense go at ketosis, I had gotten my blood level up to 3.0 mmol – which is pretty high. I was walking outside on a hot summer day and while I wasn’t quite sure how to describe how I felt, I was pretty sure that it wouldn’t be long before I passed out. (By the way – I’ve never passed out in my life.)

Luckily there was a place that sold bottled water right next to me and within a few minutes we had sat down for a light lunch of salad and cheese and I felt way better after that.

So how much ketosis, how much food, what food – and a million other details – still need to be sorted out.

You might say: ‘Dope! Look at your blog! You’ve been writing since 2007! Isn’t it all here?!?’

Maybe – I just hate reading my own stuff. Right now my short-sited goals are:

1. Stay in ketosis
2. Manage the carb and booze cravings
3. Navigate the upcoming New Year’s Eve party

Despite the fact I’m home within view of the fridge, the craving have been quite low for most of the day. I had some liverwurst and mustard on pork rinds at 12, then fell asleep reading (I am going to miss my afternoon naps when I go back to work!), then when I woke up I had another zero-calorie energy drink. My Drink of choice? Rock Star – the energy drink with the cheesiest graphics and lame copy. What they DO have is a mix of ingredients that seem to do the trick. How do I know? Well, one morning I stupidly drank one after coffee on an otherwise empty stomach and had a panic attack on the highway. Does YOUR energy drink give you panic attacks?

If it doesn’t then it’s not a Rock Star.

Anywho. In the evening I made frozen pizza for my daughter. This is a crap food I quite enjoy, but despite cooking it and cutting it, then wrapping the remainder, my tongue didn’t hang out. This – I believe – is the power of ketosis. I love carbs but they don’t love me. If I can just get myself into ketosis, it goes a long way toward reducing carb cravings. This doesn’t mean that I’m invulnerable to a weak moment or a thoughtless cheat, but it’s a big help and a reason why I find a diet that restricts certain foods superior to one where you eat anything – but watch portion size. I lost weight like that in my 20s and when people asked me my secret I told them: learn to be hungry all the time.

I myself decided to have 2 of the spicy Italian sausages for dinner around 7:30. I did not drench them in their oil and sprinkle with parm cheese this time but rather had slices with pats of butter. I probably ate half a stick. I like the combo – and for me, butter is the most powerful ketogenic food I’ve found.

This is where I frighten my friends. This is how it goes: On a diet? Good for you. Low carb you say? I’ve heard it works for a lot of people…HALF A STICK OF BUTTER?!? The wheels come off the conversation about then and that smile one wears when talking to a lunatic appears on their faces. I don’t talk about it much anymore unless for whatever reason I want people to think I’m nuts. There’s no convincing most people who eating a half-stick of butter might be healthy in certain, special cases – but then they enjoy a nice bowl of New England Clam Chowder at a restaurant and pay little attention that it is primarily cream and butter with some clams and a few chunks of potato thrown in.

Digression aside, after the sausages and butter I was a bit thirsty. I’d already had 2 energy drinks and that’s my limit for the day so I took the freakin’ HUGE Wendy’s plastic cup from when I got my daughter a large soda and thought that meant a reasonable size instead of a diabetic-coma-inducing amount of sugared soda, filled with ice, gave it a huge squirt of lemon juice, topped with water and added 4 drops of EZ-Sweetz. This made for a perfectly serviceable lemonade.

Before bed I had 5-6 spoonfuls of vanilla creme fraise and 4 pieces of American cheese, then lights out.