Thursday, July 14, 2016
I was of two minds when I awoke this morning. One mind told me to get back on the horse and restart the diet – no long-term harm was done.
The other voice had a much more compelling presentation: thank GOD that’s over! That diet-stuff is for the birds! You can eat whatever you want now that you got your diet attempt out of your system. The World’s your oyster – or Egg McMuffin, or pizza, or more KFC extra-crispy chicken.
I liked that second voice more but started the day listening to the first one. I stopped at the store to pick up a birthday card and did NOT get bologna and rolls and make myself some low-rent cheap-ass bologna sandwiches.
When I went to work there was a congealed piece of pizza left from the previous day’s pizza lunch. I’m not above eating day-old cold pizza – and warming it up in the microwave would make it better – but I resisted that, too.
Instead, I made my coffee – but while it was brewing I had to look at the pizza in the box. Looked fine.
I didn’t have it though and instead just drank my coffee and began the maelstrom of a workday.
Oh, and was it a day! What I do is come up with technical solutions within complicated systems to make new ideas that might never have been intended for these systems work – and have to do so very fast as requirements change at a moment’s notice. This is not how technology is supposed to work, but I’ve been able to develop a way to make it work this way.
I have a very difficult time describing what I do – and so does everybody else I work with – but they seem to need me.
What I do does hurt my brain, however, and today my brain hurt a lot. I said to someone only half-joking: ‘I’m going to have a panic attack.’ in a low sing-song voice.
When I left I planned to go to Trader Joe’s and get more wine. Of COURSE this was a necessity, I told myself – there is no way any human can deal with the stress without medication! I drove with this single-minded purpose.
Then something happened. I listen to either Pandora or Spotify on my phone and was listening to Pandora and it suddenly stopped. A minute or so later Spotify stated. Huh? I know they are competitors in streaming music for smartphones – but one figured out a way to stop the other and launch itself?
Spotify was playing music from some random channel I did not pick – and the music was good. It engaged my brain and calmed it.
By the time I got home I didn’t want the wine anymore – I was still unsure if I *needed* it, but I didn’t want it.
I went home and cleaned the kitchen and realized when done – near 8pm – that except for coffee, 1/2 of an Atkins shake as creamer, and a glass of water with the psyllium husks that I had not eaten.
I really think I could have avoided eating all together. I didn’t feel particularly bad nor hungry.
I didn’t think that smart to do, however, so I mixed up a can of Wild Planet Skipjack Tuna with 4-5 tablespoons of mayonnaise and topped with zero-calorie sweet pickle relish and ate with pork rinds.
I can’t say I enjoyed this. The last few times I had tuna I have not enjoyed it – I don’t know why. I’ve always loved it – it was a go-to food. Perhaps I just miss it on bread too much – I think I would have enjoyed it between 2 slices of cheap white bread.
I ate this while drinking a few cups of ice water flavored with the lemonade-flavored MiO flavor enhancer crap. I’ve tried most of the flavors but they all began to wear on me except for the lemonade flavor.
I finished up the day’s calories with an Atkins shake and went to bed where I read on the phone that over 70 innocent people got run over by some evil idiot at a Bastille Day celebration in France.
The world is burning and there’s nothing I can do – that was my thought as I fell asleep.
The totals for the day were:
Net carbs: 2g