Pigs Fly – Day 12

Saturday, July 16, 2016

I was 268 when I got up. I felt sick and dazed however. I’ve been fighting a chest cold and it knocked the stuffing out of me.

I went back to bed and slept until nearly 4pm.

I ate…something around then – i think it was leftover scrambled eggs and butter on a slice of bread – then some toast on rye bread with butter.

Then I snoozed again.

Later I got up and had some wine and cooked up some kielbasa with sauerkraut and had that on some more bread.

I stayed up until my daughters came back from a movie then went to bed.

Too wiped to tally, but I’d guess the calories were not too high though the carbs probably were.

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Pigs Fly – Day 11

radithor-1-1

Friday, July 15, 2016

I woke early – typically what happens when I eat sparingly and low carb – and skip the wine.

The scale told me that I was 269.4. I’m OK with that – I have to be – there’s no arguing the scale.

People can change their diet and start exercise and take vitamins and probiotics and say they ‘feel great’ – but there’s few real hard measures. In comparison, the scale measures the Truth: does a particular diet work for me? It answers with a single number – no placebo effect to cloud the result.

I’m suspect of most magic potions that claim to do something. Snake oil is the main ingredient in an endless array of supplements that either claim to do something and do nothing, or worse, include ingredients that can make us sick.

I’m a student of history in this area and I’m reminded of what might be the best Wall Street Journal headline ever: ‘The Radium Water Worked Fine Until His Jaw Fell Off’  – the true story of a wealthy gentleman who drank radium because in the 1920s it was believed that small doses of radium boosted the metabolism and increased energy. He drank so much of this stuff that his bones were dissolving towards the end.

The larger point was a lot of people believed this shit at the time! Me, I’ve spent a lot of my life reading and studying beliefs and delusions – I’ve been drawn to the subject all my life – and there’s very little I believe – especially in the areas of health and nutrition.

I believe my scale though. It provides an uncomplicated truth.

My day was the usual coffee and Atkins shake in the am, then I had a working lunch at work. I had 1/2 a roast beef sandwich with extra mayo and then 1/2 of a turkey breast sandwich where I took the bread off and sliced up and ate just the meat.

There was a birthday and the first choice was The Cheesecake Factory.

Dum dum DUM!

That is NOT a good place to go if you’re on a diet. I was trying to remember what they had that I might eat and word came in – we’re going to Season’s 52 instead.

I’m not a big fan of the place because it’s a restaurant FOR dieters. The portions, while flavorful, are small and calorie-controlled. It is also expensive.

I was *very* frazzled after work and had some wine before we left. My daughter drove. I had a martini when there and as a meal had the mahi tuna salad which runs 380 calories as well as a few pieces of their ‘flatbread’ – long flat breads with various toppings.

I didn’t have any birthday cake.

I love the carb Manager app as it uses some food list that seems way more comprehensive and accurate than the loseit! app. I was able to find the exact foods from the restaurant.

The totals for the day were:

Calories: 2317
Net carbs: 107g
Protein: 87g
Fat: 74g

 

 

 

Pigs Fly – Day 10

Thursday, July 14, 2016

I was of two minds when I awoke this morning. One mind told me to get back on the horse and restart the diet – no long-term harm was done.

The other voice had a much more compelling presentation: thank GOD that’s over! That diet-stuff is for the birds! You can eat whatever you want now that you got your diet attempt out of your system. The World’s your oyster – or Egg McMuffin, or pizza, or more KFC extra-crispy chicken.

I liked that second voice more but started the day listening to the first one. I stopped at the store to pick up a birthday card and did NOT get bologna and rolls and make myself some low-rent cheap-ass bologna sandwiches.

When I went to work there was a congealed piece of pizza left from the previous day’s pizza lunch. I’m not above eating day-old cold pizza – and warming it up in the microwave would make it better – but I resisted that, too.

Instead, I made my coffee – but while it was brewing I had to look at the pizza in the box. Looked fine.

I didn’t have it though and instead just drank my coffee and began the maelstrom of a workday.

Oh, and was it a day! What I do is come up with technical solutions within complicated systems to make new ideas that might never have been intended for these systems work – and have to do so very fast as requirements change at a moment’s notice. This is not how technology is supposed to work, but I’ve been able to develop a way to make it work this way.

I have a very difficult time describing what I do – and so does everybody else I work with – but they seem to need me.

What I do does hurt my brain, however, and today my brain hurt a lot. I said to someone only half-joking: ‘I’m going to have a panic attack.’ in a low sing-song voice.

When I left I planned to go to Trader Joe’s and get more wine. Of COURSE this was a necessity, I told myself – there is no way any human can deal with the stress without medication! I drove with this single-minded purpose.

Then something happened. I listen to either Pandora or Spotify on my phone and was listening to Pandora and it suddenly stopped. A minute or so later Spotify stated. Huh? I know they are competitors in streaming music for smartphones – but one figured out a way to stop the other and launch itself?

Spotify was playing music from some random channel I did not pick – and the music was good. It engaged my brain and calmed it.

By the time I got home I didn’t want the wine anymore – I was still unsure if I *needed* it, but I didn’t want it.

I went home and cleaned the kitchen and realized when done – near 8pm – that except for coffee, 1/2 of an Atkins shake as creamer, and a glass of water with the psyllium husks that I had not eaten.

I really think I could have avoided eating all together. I didn’t feel particularly bad nor hungry.

I didn’t think that smart to do, however, so I mixed up a can of Wild Planet Skipjack Tuna with 4-5 tablespoons of mayonnaise and topped with zero-calorie sweet pickle relish and ate with pork rinds.

I can’t say I enjoyed this. The last few times I had tuna I have not enjoyed it – I don’t know why. I’ve always loved it – it was a go-to food. Perhaps I just miss it on bread too much – I think I would have enjoyed it between 2 slices of cheap white bread.

I ate this while drinking a few cups of ice water flavored with the lemonade-flavored MiO flavor enhancer crap. I’ve tried most of the flavors but they all began to wear on me except for the lemonade flavor.

I finished up the day’s calories with an Atkins shake and went to bed where I read on the phone that over 70 innocent people got run over by some evil idiot at a Bastille Day celebration in France.

The world is burning and there’s nothing I can do – that was my thought as I fell asleep.

The totals for the day were:

Calories: 1300
Net carbs: 2g
Protein: 133g
Fat: 81g

Pigs Fly – Day 9 – Lost 10 Pounds and the Wheels Fall Off the Diet

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

 

 

Like I said – I play the short game well.

Not so much the long game.

Despite losing 10 pounds (yay!) the diet went completely off the rails on this day – pizza, KFC, wine. Tallies went out the window.

The only thing I can do is not delude myself that it is anything except a total failure and start again tomorrow.

Pigs Fly – Day 8

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

At weigh-in I was 269.2.

This morning I had coffee with real cream at home as we had some – and more coffee at work – 2 cups? 3 cups?

Mid-afternoon I had my 2 tablespoons of psyllium and maybe an hour or so after I had a shake.

The stress of the week was getting to me – I have the opportunity to ‘fail big’ and while that is an honor and privilege, it’s also scary as hell.

So I drank a bottle of wine along with my cup of Mexican Eggplant with Pork Belly and sour cream, then polished off 2 hot dogs on a single bun – then rounded this out with some leftover pork lo mein (noodles and grease with pork bits) from the grocery store.

Oh well…

Calories: 2400
Net carbs: 133g
Protein: 95g
Fat: 85g

The day was not a *total* loss. I had a long talk with my 9-year-old daughter about her day, told her stories about when I was a kid, talked about lying, honesty, and integrity,

It had nothing to do with my diet but everything to do about life, of which a diet is only a small part. I think it’s important to remember that.

 

 

Pigs Fly – Day 7 – Tsk Tsk Edition

Monday, July 11, 2016

I was 271.4 pounds this morning, which, given last night’s behavior, was probably inevitable. That bagel was going to lead to me holding on to a lot of water.

The day wasn’t going to turn out all that great either – more an example of my erratic nature.

While I had my normal coffee with a few ounces of Atkins shake in the am, the rest of the day was unplanned. I had maybe 4 cups of coffee in work with a shake as creamer – but nothing else. My day was frenetic – and my job, by extension, is as a norm, so when it was as notable as it was, it’s pretty out there.

I didn’t eat the entire day. I also forgot to have my psyllium. I also forgot to take my vitamin.

When Ii left work I was hungry but not starving. I was not particularly distracted by ‘The Fast Food Mile’ – a strip of fast food chain I pass on the way home that have snared me many times. I was focused on going home and eating my eggplant and pork belly concoction that I made Sunday – perhaps with some sour cream.

That went out the window when I came home and my daughter had cooked fried chicken thighs in a mushroom cream sauce.

You have to understand something: my daughter has a supernatural ability to whip up dishes with whatever is in the house that people would pay money for. She is the best cook in the house by far.

I was *planning* to avoid her dish – she typically adds sugar and flour to her dishes – but I was unable to resist.

Before it was done I had an egg yolk and some Canadian bacon left over from my younger daughter’s leftover pickings of an eggs Benedict from the weekend, then tried a thigh.

Heaven. I could never come close even at my best.

She had also made mashed potatoes from the dehydrated flakes and used the chicken fat as the oil as well as cream instead of milk.

Sorry: low carb was out the window this day – I could only hope for portion control.

As the ‘what the Hell effect’ set in on the low carb aspect, I had 2 slices of bread with the thighs, potatoes and gravy.

And I had the lemon-flavored MiO in the 3 or 4 glasses of water I drank.

I did my best to guesstimate what I ate, then went to bed.

I used the quirky though more carb-friendly Carb Manager app to do the calculations. It works well. I don’t think I’ll be using the Loseit! app anytime again unless something comes up to change my mind.

The totals for the day were:

Calories: 1100
Net carbs: 80g
Protein: 58g
Fat: 58g

Ugh. Calories too low. Net carbs too high. Protein too low. No vitamin. No psyllium. No vegetables. Went too long without eating. TWO slices of bread. Mashed potatoes from a box!

There’s a reason why the tagline of this site is ‘The World’s Worst Low Carb Dieter’.

 

 

Pigs Fly – Day 6

Sunday, July 10, 2016

The morning weigh-in showed I broke 270 – I was 269.6. That’s 8.4 lbs. in 6 days.

I’m still not impressed. I’ve made it to below 270 as recently as the beginning of June – only to spring back into the 270s – and most of last year was the 250s and 260s.

What is more impressive is my staying with my primary goal of portion control. I would agree with one correspondent that my diet is still ‘somewhat lacking’. Point taken. I also agree that I could probably use a little exercise – my schtick about dissing exercise being more sour grapes than anything.

But this is usually where the wheels fall off in most of my diet attempts. As I’ve gained ground during diet attempts in the past I’ve moved to being stricter: no Akins shakes because they are factory foods, only organic grass-fed beef, everything home-cooked, only homemade mayo, etc.

What would happen as I did this was that sticking to the diet would get harder – more steps – more stores – more restrictions – more time spent obsessing over the details. Nothing wrong if you find delight in this sort of thing but history shows I most certainly DON’T.

I feel OK as-is. I’ve noticed I have to hike up my pants more often. My stomach hurts less. I’ve pretty much stopped using Tums.

The battery in my glucose meter needs to be replaced so I haven’t checked, but I’m sure my blood glucose level is lower as well.

Why mess with things when they’re going well? It’s working – and it doesn’t feel like too much work. I feel I’m putting very little effort into this and that works for me.

Stay the course with a less-than-ideal diet that is a big improvement over my diet before I started, (hopefully) continue to lose weight, feel better, improve my energy levels as I acclimate to my new regimen and continue to focus on priority one: portion control.

There’s always time to improve the quality of foods I eat – and to maybe even start exercising – but that doesn’t have to start now – and might be the thing that paradoxically makes the diet fail because it’s too much, too soon.

Even if I lose every pound I want, this is still a lifelong change I need to make. There’s plenty of time for improvement – right now I need to be content to practice what I’ve learned so far before moving to the next level.

I also did want to comment on me writing all of this. I think the writing helps me sort out my thoughts and feelings on what I’m doing. Having an audience reading this rather than keeping it to myself causes me to be more careful in my thinking and provides comments from you folks that give me further food for thought. It *has* to be honest in order for this to work: if I was a poser – what good would your comments be? For me, it’s a critical part of the diet.

The day started as it usually does with coffee. A few dashes of Atkins shake as well to substitute for the cream I don’t have.

I wasn’t hungry yet, but at noon I conjured up a ‘Mexican Pork Belly and Eggplant’ dish with some leftover and ignored stuff I found in the house. I was inspired by looking through the 150+ so-called ‘recipes’ on the site. I’ve come up with some pretty good stuff. Some was awful. At this point I had not tasted my concoction so only the future would tell.

It made 6 servings and at 375 calories each and 21 grams of fat per serving, it’s a fat bomb – not that I have anything against that.

I finally ate a cup about 1:30 – not bad. Maybe a bit salty but otherwise OK. I enjoyed it. Pain in he ass calculating the nutrients, though.

Shortly after I had some coconut flakes in coconut milk with a bit of EZ-Sweetz just as an experiment. I warmed it up in the microwave and with a little work, might be an acceptable cereal substitute – but I at it for the wrong reasons. I was spending too much time looking at recipes and ate because of them – not hunger.

It got worse from here.

I went shopping with my younger daughter for lunches and snacks for the week. She asked for bagels and I said OK. Dad got himself some diet Coke as a decadent treat – even with aspartame in it, which can stall a low carb diet, how much harm can it do?

At home I had my soda – and it did not satisfy. At least I wasn’t going to drink the whole 6-pack.

It was early evening and my hunger was pretty much under control. The pork belly concoction kept me full for hours and I had been drinking water. I had bought pickles and decided on an old comfort food – pickles with mayo and cheese. I had 2 pickle halves with cheese and mayo, paused to have a glass of water, then had another.

I would have been fine except my daughter sat on my lap as she was eating a toasted bagel with cream cheese.

She offered me a bite and I – merely curious as to the quality of the bagel she bought compared to the authentic NYC bagels I grew up with as a kid living in the suburbs of the city in New Jersey, took a small bite.

Hmm…not a real bagel, of course, but an acceptable texture and flavor. 

Of course this was done simply for the sake of acquiring knowledge – nothing more.

So if that was the case, why did I have one half slathered in cream cheese – then follow it up with another slathered in butter?

It was over before I knew it. Charlie Brown thought he would kick the football Lucy held but ended up on the ground on his back once again – looking like an ass because once again, he fell for it.

This did me no good – I woke up multiple times needing Tums because of the indigestion.

It does seem obvious to me that 53 grams of carbs right before bed doesn’t make me feel well. It probably goes to follow that eating as much as I did right before bed isn’t all that great either.

Yeah – I know: Captain Obvious here reporting for duty, sir. So sue me. I can be fantastically stupid at times – and this was one of them.

While the day ended as a fail, it could have been worse – I could have been eating and drinking like I did before I started this attempt at a diet.

Calories: 2212
Net Carbs: 76 g
Protein: 62 g
Fat: 169 g

One other thing: based on a commenter’s recommendation I paid $2.99 for the Carb Manager iPhone app. While the interface is quirky and you apparently can’t build your own recipes in the app without a yearly subscription, it is certainly easier to use than Loseit! if you are following a low carb diet. I’ve used it for a day and it’s still too soon to tell if I will come to hate it more than Loseit! – but I don’t hate it more yet.