I can’t believe just how hard it is to pick a good mobility scooter.
Do I get 3-wheel or 4-wheel? Folding or non-folding? Do I assume that I will make it to 400 pounds and opt for one that I can use long-term?
God – there’s even a *turning radius* I need to concern myself with. Maneuverability in a crowded store on a Saturday is a must.
Then there’s seat height. If the seat is too high I might not be able to reach the lower shelves in the grocery store – but too low and I won’t be able to reach the high ones! I’ve never made a detailed analysis of my shopping patterns to determine if I tend to buy more foods from the higher shelves than the lower. Perhaps I should start gathering statistics on this.
There also seems to be a point at which a lift for your vehicle is a must as these scooters can get heavy. That means I have to decide if I want to trick out my ride – a 10-year-old minivan – with a custom lift. I haven’t even priced those yet.
Let’s not forget about the importance of style. You don’t want to do your electrified cruising through the aisles in something that doesn’t reflect a level of discernment on your part. Some of these scooters are downright stodgy – I’d like to reflect a more modern and polished image.
Some try to effect a ‘Harley’ look so you can feel like you’re riding a hog, Steppenwolf’s ‘Born to be Wild’ playing in the background with your biker chick riding behind, her hair blowing back in the wind – instead of just you whirring about on a mobility scooter with a max speed of 4 miles per hour.
Others are decidedly futuristic, taking a page from the Japanese motorcycle esthetic.
I don’t know if I’m more a Harley guy or a rice-burner type, not having been a motorcyclist.
People into these things are quite religious about their choices. This choice would put me firmly in one camp and make me a pariah in another so I must choose carefully. Making the wrong esthetic choice could hamper my social life.
Some have names like ‘Prowler’, ‘Maxima’, and my favorite: ‘Avenger’. The definition of the word ‘avenger’ is: one who inflicts punishment for injury or offense. Will I be able to fight crime and make America a better place while buzzing through the candy aisle on an Avenger?
You know what I think?
I think I’d better get the hell back on my diet so I don’t need one of these things!